It’s Judgement Day. The Apocalypse. Armageddon. I’ll miss you all. Farewell.
Oh, stop whining, you’ve been on this juice fast for two hours. How bad can it be? What a sissy. Put on your big boy pants and get on with it. It’s not like anyone put a gun to your head and forced you to do this. Geez.
Such was the conversation I just had with myself. Stimulating, wasn’t it?
Today really is day one of the rest of my nightmare. Here are the gruesome details.
Age: 55 (why did I say that out loud?)
Height: 6’ 11” in my dreams. During waking hours, 5’ 9” and shrinking.
Weight: 276,5. Highest weight ever recorded – 305
Misc. ailments: High blood pressure, triglycerides and cholesterol. Acid reflux. Sleep apnea. Male pattern baldness.
Trouser size: Marquee (46 relaxed fit)
Shirt size: 2XL (but pushing the boundaries)
In all seriousness, it’s time to take control of my health. After all, my wife and I raise organic vegetables, free range chickens, grass fed meats of different kinds and have begun raising fish and vegetables aquaponically. There is a kind of irony, maybe even hypocrisy in promoting such healthy living while being nearly 100 lbs overweight with a catalogue of weight related health issues.
It’s time to do something about it, so here I am. Here WE are really, because Brittan is doing this, too. In many ways she’s the driver of this bus. She is determined to finish losing the weight she’s been struggling with. She’s lost a ton, but has plateaued. She wants to break free.
My first juice was 3 apples, 2 stalks of celery and 2 carrots. My lunch is something called, Mean Green. I’ll update again before I go to bed tonight.